after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
