I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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