I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it's like iHOP with fire
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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