The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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