K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
