in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
