I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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