Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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