Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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