You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Panties = found
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
