I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
