First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
