I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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