even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
