so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
