do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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