he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
