Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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