Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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