jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
