Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
