See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
