I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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