why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
