we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
