the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
