fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i think im in europe. pls send help
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
