She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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