i would punch a child for taco bell
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
