Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
