i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
