this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
