drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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