...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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