Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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