youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
