I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
