I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
