i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
