sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
