what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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