What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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