just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
