you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
