I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
