i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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