it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
