Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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