he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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