I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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