i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
