I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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