i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
