are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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